Stuck in the weeds

And suddenly I was drowning,
As I was moving down towards the bottom, I noticed how blue the water was, it was exhilarating as blue was my favorite color, I could feel the air in my lungs diminishing, as I touched the bottom, I wanted to stay there for a while as it was serene, away from the bothersome thoughts of the future, and the troubling past. It was mid-summer, and the water was cold against my skin; for mere seconds, I could feel the stillness. I pushed against the water and came up gasping for air.

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

How can we fight through the thoughts of the unpredictable future?

How can I tell my mind not to overthink every situation and question every choice?

With the onset of technology, every click, every dm, every snap somehow pushes me to compare myself with others, and the never-ending thoughts echo, “ I’m not good enough”.

Is it something we all go through?

Maybe.

I lie awake, bestowing my mind with insecurities, and the vulnerabilities and the uncertainty of the future terrify me.

“What if I never get what I want to achieve”

With continuous mindless scrolling through LinkedIn, Instagram; the anxious sensation returns with great strength, empowering me to overthink and cry.

A perpetual cycle.

What is the way out?

or

Is there a way out?

Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash

World, I want to leave you better
I want my life to matter
I am afraid I have no purpose here
I watch the news on TV
Abandon myself daily
I am afraid to let you see the real me

Rain it falls, rain it falls
Pouring on me
And the rain it falls, rain it falls
Sowing the seeds of love and hope, love and hope
We don’t have to stay here, stuck in the weeds

Have I the courage to change?
Have I the courage to change?
Have I the courage to change today?